It seems that I will see my mom.

I don't know what to feel about this. I don't know if I want or if I don't want. I'm so confused, It's frusturating.

I feel sick. I just want to disapear or lock myself up somewhere distant from here. I think that seeing her is not the most healthy thing to me. My feelings and emotions are always destabilized because of her.

I don't want to see her. Maybe I want to see her. I don't want to want to see her.

I just want to continue to live my life and ignore her like she doesn't even exists. But, do I really want that?

I sincerely don't know how to react, what to think, what to feel and what to do.